01 March 2022

Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss

Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss
A quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler that had a significant impact on my understanding and processing of grief and loss during the last 18 months.

A Perspective on Closure 

I use many quotes on my Mental Health and Motivation website, all of them are special, but this quote gave me real perspective and closure.

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

I respect the fact that different people will interpret the same quote differently, for different losses. I have read the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler quote 6 months after publishing my “A Year After Leaving an Abusive and Toxic Relationship' and in total 18 months after I walked away from what I considered (at the time) of what would of been the rest of my life.

I have integrated their quote as an update / conclusion 6 months after my original article. The timing for a complete understanding of their words came absolutely at the right time.

Hopefully some of you may also find comfort in their words should there be such need.

Herewith my conclusion of the My Lessons / Achievements from an Abusive Relationship article:

Acceptance, healing and rebuilding
What made the acceptance so much more sustainable was the realisation that the grief of losing someone special does not have to go away. What did go away eventually was my fear of letting go. This quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler provided me with the necessary perspective and solace for moving on - “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”

Having accepted the undercurrent ebb and flow presence of my grief I find myself thinking less and less of this specific grief (and person). The ever-consuming dark thoughts of grief and loss made way for more coherent thinking and mindful living of being in the moment - focussing on the daily awareness of here and now... It took me more than 18 months of introspection, reflection and soul searching to finally arrive at the other side of this profound and self-enriching journey.



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