01 May 2022

Abuse, Domestic Violence and Trauma Resources

Abuse, Domestic Violence and Trauma Resources
“It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” 
― Aisha Mirza

Abuse and Trauma : Abusive Behaviour and Domestic Violence Resources

Male and Female Domestic Violence

Trauma associated with Abuse / Domestic Violence

Abused Men (Trauma Bonding) and Gender-Based Violence (in Adult Relationships)


My Experience with Abuse, Domestic Violence and associated Trauma 
During the past 18 months I have gained a substantial amount of personal experience and perspective from being on the receiving end of an abusive relationship (that ended in August 2020). After my detachment from this dramatic trauma bond I spent more than a year reading / researching various articles, books and online resources for gaining a better understanding of abuse, domestic violence and eventual management of the associated trauma. I also started journaling about the abusive behaviour against me here on the Mental Health and Motivation website.

I spiralled into the dark abyss of my own cognitive dissonance, consumed by the FOG* of leaving and the never-ending rumination that left me mentally immobilised for weeks at a time. My mental state was further challenged by the sad event of my best friend, Joseph Inns, passed away during this time.
 
Through reading, sheer determination and my support system (of family and friends) the benefit of time slowly turned the infinite upside-down puzzle piece by piece around in my mind. Its only lately that I'm able see a more integrated and complete picture - a clear vision of what life should be without the toxicity of abuse and domestic violence. 

The insight gained assisted me for coming to terms with the possible cause and reason(s) why someone would be induced by the sheer brutality of abuse and violence to maintain attention, stay relevant, overcome disappointment and / or getting their selfish needs met.  Abusive and Violent Behaviour Towards Me

I ignored the obvious and silent red flags during the relationship for far too long. I should have known beter and should have acted much sooner.  Relationship Red Flags I Ignored for Months

I trust that some of these resources will also be beneficial to other men and women around the world who have been subjected to similar abuse, domestic violence and / or are currently still living with the unfortunate traumatic consequences. I learned a lot from my own (relationship) codependency behavioural vulnerabilities as well. My Lessons / Achievements from an Abusive Relationship

* FOG (Fear | Obligation | Guilt)

© Vernon Chalmers


Types (Physical, Sexual and Emotional) & Signs of Abuse - Video


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