01 May 2022

My Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Empaths have to be careful not to internalize others’ feelings, as this can cause them to feel anxious, sad, or even depressed. It can leave the empath feeling drained or exhausted. They must learn to set boundaries so as not to let toxic people drain them dry.” ― Donna G. Bourgeois

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery : Acceptance and Healing

My story of being unceremoniously exposed to narcissistic abuse is well documented here on the Mental Health and Motivation website. I am of firm belief that I was subjected to an intense barrage of both narcissistic and antisocial abuse over a relative short period of time.

Being emotionally, physically and verbally abused by my ex girlfriend has left me with many questions about the gratuitous motivation of someone displaying so many narcissistic and / or antisocial behavioural traits. Red Flags I Ignored

In the aftermath of the relationship I struggled to come to terms with the grandiose disdain shown for any contributions of compassion and goodwill I effortlessly offered during the relationship. I questioned my own empathetic vulnerabilities, my own identity and core values that could possibly have 'justified' the abuse against me. It took more than a year of soul searching, research and the passing of significant time for creating the inner peace to complete the recovery puzzle. Abusive Behaviour

With no set objective in recovery time I started journaling some of the most unpleasant experiences and recurring memories in what I call my Portfolio of Choice. Knowledge, time, writing and the reading of my own state of mind (as a conscientious choice) made me less vulnerable in not only my understanding of abusive behaviour, its origin and possible longer-term consequences on my emotional well-being, but also my own subsequent codependent behaviour dynamics. Therapeutic Journaling 

With a more informed understanding of narcissistic abuse I have accepted the fact that the trauma could linger for a bit longer (as an undercurrent of thought). Its only until recently that I have started referring to my abuse as 'narcissistic' abuse. Naively so, but this was primarily due to my own intermittent cognitive dissonance still shielding my perpetrator from her emotional dysregulation and oblivious narcissistic pathology rather than acknowledging the unfolding of a fatally flawed persona.

Nevertheless, I have shamelessly embraced my extended recovery narrative as therapeutic guidance for providing me with the necessary acceptance and healing for coming to terms with an abusive relationship.

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